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A Toast To The Space In Between

The Wine: Chandon Brut (California)

The Winery: Mr. & Mrs.’s Kitchen Bar (Oklahoma)

The W(H)ine: A Toast to The Space In Between (Response: Our Superpower)

On a day pregnant with possibility (like all days), this one opened on a noisy note…where, depending on your politics, your persuasions, and your plans, one could find him/her/themselves off-ended, off-kilter, or off-track.

When one is road-tripping, one must avoid getting off-track by external factors that, in fact, have little whatever to do with your intended purpose, your road trip reason.

Noise distracts.

Even noises warning of unfolding war. Of national revolt. Of manifest mayhem.

But I digress.

Last night, my dear friend got happily married. She said, “I do.”

Thankfully, her mister said so back.


My visitor-from-out-of-town-wedding-guest-for-my-sister-from-another-mister’s nuptial job entailed two vital components:

One) Go “FaceBook Live” at 6 PM CST sharp; and Two) Hold iPhone steady until ceremony ends, so friends & family around the world can watch live the blessed nuptials planned just three short weeks before most could make plans to attend.

A for Effort. C+ for Execution.

To capture all the key moments (bridegroom’s entrance, pre-procession vocal solo, bride’s entrance, bride’s surprising groom at altar with her own vocal solo, vows, ring exchange, kisses, exiting procession), I positioned myself in the middle of the room, and maneuvered many times into a variety of awkward angles (thank you, vinyasa yoga practice) and disruptive movements (sorry to those behind me attempting pictures) to capture every rapturous moment.

With a few random children meandering through church pews, paired with a non-blessed (and non-specified) foot injury begging high-heel removal, Tulsa’s ungodly 108-degree heat imposing interrupting sweat, and a myriad of bubbling emotions daring to distract from the task at hand,


Steady, Lisa, Steady.

This isn’t about you.

Ignore the Noise.

Kids are being kids.

National news will digest.

You can shower later.


On a day with so many opportunities to mind something other than a precious present moment, I found freedom and foundationa in returning to the one reason for our gathering:


Oh, yes, THAT. THAT blessed thing that makes the world go round.

And: THAT makes those in the world worth caring for, communicating to, and cultivating connection with (I know, writer friends, never end a sentence with a preposition, but how about a parenthetical immediately following?).

So, as offered to my dear sister-friend and her new mister last night, I present a toast:

“As Austrian neurologist, psychiatrist, philosopher, writer, and Holocaust survivor, Viktor Frankl suggests: ‘Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.’

I raise my glass tonight to the Space In Between. Though two have been joined spiritually as one by tonight’s exchange of vows, you each will continue as unique individuals who come to this marriage with separate lived histories.

So, the Space In Between will provide opportunities to use personal power in choosing how to respond to one another no matter the situation: in respect, in wisdom, and in mindful consideration of your partner.

Here is where freedom lies.

May your Space In Between be full of shameless storytelling, skilled empathy, authentic

vulnerability, unmasked courage, and oh, so much fun. May you both embrace the Space In Between in a way that serves the Union, empowering, encouraging, and enlarging your human capacities for LOVE.

Cheers, My Dears!!!”

There is a lot of noise in the world right now. Many taking sides and saddling upside their justified arguments. #metoo

How to best move forward as a shared (albeit shredded) society, a multi-cultural (albeit unreconciled) community, a theoretical (albeit divided) united nation wrangle with their own divisive opinions and desires for justice?

May we somehow return to LOVE: to listen and learn from one another’s stories…hear our reasons for fiercely held beliefs, hard fought freedoms, and highly valued losses.

May we, above all, honor the Space In Between, crafting well-thought out and weighted responses in a manner involving respect (self and other), wisdom (lived and studied experiences), and mindful consideration (damned dogmas aside, what actions - pray tell -demonstrate empathy, concern, care and connection to one another?)

Let’s try for an A for Effort, if not a C+ for Execution. #connection #loveislove #breathe

#reclamationroadtrip #whineonthevine #wetoo #thespaceinbetween #response

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